Boundaries and Buttons

Interesting to find out that i have buttons that can be pushed.  Today i had some buttons pushed and i got frustrated and very peeved with the event.   My co-worker told me later that my ears turned red.  What?! I never knew my ears turned red.  Ye Gads!

And now i'm pondering about my response.  It all happened so fast that i didn't have a chance to take a breath - i merely responded to it.

I have boundaries.  With people i do not know - i don't like for them to move into my space.  And i certainly don't like them to touch me.  I used to be extremely shy and i've worked through a lot of that old shyness.  But i am still, how shall i say, shy, reserved and standoffish sometimes.  And this particular person's energy weirded me out.

As this man (that i did not know-but in the office that i work in - i had spoken to him in passing) walked up to me, he put his hand out to touch me and i backed away from him.  He kept coming closer and i told him to stop and not to touch me.  He responded with a "what?"  I said "don't touch me.  I don't know you - you are not allowed to touch me."  Him: "How am i supposed to get to know you if you don't let me touch you?" Me: "You don't have to touch me to get to know me."  Him: "You aren't very loving." Me: "Love has nothing to do with you touching me or any one of my people here."  Him: "Do you get massages?" Me: "That is a personal question that you have no need to be asking me."  Him: "personal?"  Me: "yes, you can be arrested for touching people with out their consent."  Him: "I used to be a police officer." Me: "Well then, you should know better."  Him: "are you a christian?"  Me: "What does that have to do with anything?" Him: "It has everything to do with it, with love." Me: "No it doesn't.  You can be anything and be loving.  You however do not need to come into my place of business and try to touch everyone.  It is inappropriate behavior.  And you should know better."

So, ok, this went on - for a few more minutes and then i shooed him out of the office and he left.   I stood there at the desk, thinking about it.  I then turned to my co-worker and said "Unloving?  Do I get massages?  Am I a christian?  What does that have to do with the slice of bread?"  Co-worker: "Nothing - that was out of left field.  That guy knows no boundaries."  Me: "That guy is a (lalalalalalalalalalalalala) jerk."  Later i found out that he had done the same thing to 2 other co-workers.  With one he had walked up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders to massage her shoulders - and she told him to remove his hands and get from behind her.  Evidently he then said some of the same things to her.  She said she thought he was a lech and a jerk.

Ok so yes, i'm in need of some pondering on why i responded like i did.  Yes the guy weirded me out.  But i should have just said - leave the office and ended the conversation quicker than i did.  

However, i didn't do that - i let my buttons be pushed and now i need to learn something from it.  

My thoughts are this:  It is ok to have boundaries.  And yes people will push your boundaries.  But i need to learn to respond differently to someone when they push my buttons and boundaries.  

I need to take a deep breath and meditate on this tonight. 

After i wrote this - i heard a beep and went over to fb and saw this message from someone, they had placed it on my timeline.  Appropriate.