Because All Lives Matter

There is a billboard that i pass everyday it reads, "How many traffic deaths are acceptable in your family?"

Who knows how long this sign had been standing there on the side of the road?  Days, Weeks, Months? A couple of years perhaps?  I don't know.  What i do know is when several of my family members got into the car and drove down that road on December 26th last year is when i finally saw the sign.  We were on the way to a funeral of my young niece.  She'd been killed in an automobile accident just a few days before.

Now when i pass that sign, i read it and i say to myself.  Zero.  Because All Lives Matter.


July 5th another man was shot by police officers while they were detaining him outside a convenience store in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.  Another man.  Another human being was shot.   Alton Sterling, a 37 year old black man was shot and killed by these officers that are here to "serve and protect".  Who were they serving on Tuesday?  Who were they protecting?  From all reports these officers had the man down on the ground, pinned with no visible gun and still they shot him.

How many shooting deaths are acceptable in your family?  Zero.  Because All Lives Matter.



June 12th Orlando shooting.  50 deaths, including the shooter.  Senseless.  Needless.
June 25th Fresno, CA.  Police shoot an unarmed white man, Dylan Noble, 19.  Senseless.  Needless.
July 7th, Saint Paul, MN.  Police shoot Philando Castile, during a traffic stop.  Senseless.  Needless.
There are countless others.  It saddens me to read anymore of them.  My heart is heavy.

There is a movement #BlackLivesMatter that states on their website:
"Black Lives Matter is an ideological and political intervention in a world where Black lives are systematically and intentionally targeted for demise.  It is an affirmation of Black folks’ contributions to this society, our humanity, and our resilience in the face of deadly oppression."

I ask myself, "what can i do?"  Sure i gave money to the #WeAreOrlando fund.  Sure last year i gave money to #TheCharlestonNine.  But what does throwing money at a problem do?  Hopefully it went to the people that matters.  I'll never know.

Yes, I happen to be a middle class, middle aged white woman.  I was lucky enough to have been born into a great family that didn't teach me racism, or that i was better than anyone else.  My parents taught me to love people, no matter who they were.   Because all lives matter.  My parents taught me that i could do anything i wanted to do in life, i just needed to set my mind on it, plan it out and do it.

There are a lot of people in this world that weren't taught those simple principles.  I've learned over the years that some people are taught that because of the color of their skin, their sexual orientation, their religious beliefs,  they don't have options.

I'm hear to say that we all have options.  It doesn't matter (or it shouldn't, but i'm affirming here), your race, your gender, your sexual orientation, whether you are fat or skinny, tall or short, a bully or the most loving, giving caring person i'll ever encounter.  It doesn't matter if you are a genius or not.  It doesn't matter if you are rich or poor, healthy or sick.  It doesn't matter.  IT DOESN'T MATTER.  We have choices.  And we've got to learn to make better choices.  For ourselves, for each other, for our future.

When you make the choice to hate, what are you teaching our children? When you make the choice to turn a blind eye to something, what are you teaching our children?  When you make those choices you dig deeper into your own pit of despair.

What does God teach?  God is Love.  You make the choice to love or to live in fear.  It isn't always easy, but we must choose to Live in Love.  Live a life of service to others, not just your church, or your family or friends.  Life a life of service to all.  When you see someone that needs help, help them.  A word, a smile, a hand - acknowledge that the person is ALIVE.  SEE the human being, the Divine Spirit that dwells in them, SEE their Light that is shining.  I KNOW it is scary sometimes.  Because that person doesn't look like me.  That person doesn't act like me, smell like me - but when you look into their eyes you realize that that person is you.  Because we truly are ONE.

I wasn't sure what to write about today.  I had no intention of writing.  But the words came out - i don't have the answers to everything, i don't know how to change this trend of killing, all i know is i had to say something.  No matter how small this something was/is.  What can i do?  Yes, i pray.  Yes, i love.  And that "golden rule" "Love your neighbor as thyself" i've been thinking about that. I'm here to tell you - that isn't necessarily a good rule.  I say this because, for years, YEARS, i hated myself.  And so yep, i hated others.  I didn't think i did, but now that i have changed some of my thinking - i realized that i certainly didn't like myself.  I didn't take care of myself, and i certainly didn't treat you any better.  So first the golden rule should read something like, "Love yourself first, and then you will love others."

Perhaps that is it.  Could it be that simple? Part of the reasons for the killings.  No one loves themselves, so if they don't matter in their own lives, no one else's life matters.  #AllLivesMatter  #SimpleAsThat

I Changed My Routine

We all have morning routines.  Whether the morning is at Sunrise or Sunset - it is a routine.  There is some semblance of a pattern or regimen behind it; a sort of calming order to it.

With the last job i was working, i'd been there 30 years, i had developed a routine.  I would wake up 1 hour before i was supposed to be at work.  I may not  have gotten up and out of the bed for another 10-15 minutes - and then i'd rush to the shower, rush to get dressed, put my make up on and get out of the house, rushing all of the time.  I never had time to eat.  Then i'd be frustrated at the other drivers and myself for being delayed getting to my job, getting to my desk.  And i was usually late by a few minutes.  Every single day.  What a way to start my day.

Now a days, since i'm not working there anymore, and i did something that some people called "retirement" - i don't have to get up at a specific time for a job everyday.  My routine has changed.

Theses days, i get up, i get dressed and drive to the gym.  I work out, then i come home.  I shower, I eat breakfast, and i journal.  I read a daily passage from several books, think about my yesterday and then my today and i write about it.  And all of this before 9 or 10 a.m.

Sometimes i sit outside to journal, sometimes i don't.  These days, things have changed.  These days i actually like getting up in the mornings.  And no matter what the day brings, i enjoy it, i look forward to it.

You see, i changed the way i see life.  Instead of working at it, i now work with it.  I decided to change my outlook on the world, on myself.  I decided to let go, and let God.  This was a difficult decision for me.  Because quite frankly, i thought i had been letting God drive.

Once i decided to "let God" i knew that i had to retire from the job i was working.  It was killing me.  That entire routine that i had developed, was killing me.  I was stressed out.  I was extremely overweight.  I was tired.  I was not exercising.  I was sick.  I was existing.  I was everything i didn't want to be.  And i knew the only thing that would save me, was me.  And i needed to make a huge change.

Consequently, i changed my routine.  I now pay attention to what i eat.  I used eat out almost every meal.  These days, at night, i write out what i plan to eat the next day.  I go to the gym.  I lift weights at home.  I get enough sleep.  I take my medicines.  I journal everyday.  I joined a 12 step program for my overeating and i'm working through the steps.  I make a point to do something everyday that helps me to laugh.  I sit outside everyday for a few minutes to take in the beauty.  I meditate everyday for at least 10 minutes.  I now have a part time job that i enjoy.  I am going to school, which will eventually lead to going to Ministerial School.  With God, I am living my life as God intended.

This didn't happen over night.  I've been slowly looking at my life, adjusting it here and tweaking it there for the past few years, and actually retiring in January.  But the biggest thing i did was to ask God for help.  I thought that i'd been helping myself all of this time, when really i had been deluding myself.  I'd just been existing. Now i feel like i'm living.  Everyday just gets better and better.  And i realized one day that I'm living in Heaven.  Right here, right now.

Through the 12 steps and my daily journaling, talking to a few of my mentors, and talking to God, i see myself differently.  I actually SEE myself.  I Love myself.  I'd never realized how much i'd hated myself, hated this body and consequently hated a lot of what i was doing.  I was looking out of these eyes and seeing everything wrong in the world.

These days, since i'm looking at myself differently, i'm seeing the world differently.  There is a saying, "Seeing isn't Believing, Believing is Seeing."  One of my favorites.  Because what you believe IS what you see.  I Love myself.  And these days I see Love everywhere.  Because i'm looking out through Love's eyes these days.

I may not be perfect, but what i am is, a work in progress.  And i'm very happy with the progress i've made.  I've opened up to the Universe and the Universe has responded.  All you have to do is ask God for help.  It is God's good pleasure to give you what you want.  You merely have to ask for it.  Think about your life and ask yourself, "how's that working for you?"

Here are some of my readings for today's journaling: Voices of Recovery, "Many people settle for okay, ...thinking in terms of problems, rather than solutions."  For Today, "Step by step, i will find my way, asking for help."  Jesus Calling, "You tend to feel guilty about pushing back the boundaries of your life to make space for time alone with Me." Daily Word, "World Peace.  To change attitudes toward peace, I begin with myself.  I connect prayerfully with Spirit."

How are you connecting with God?  Are you living your life as God wants you to?  Or are you merely existing?  What changes can you make to adjust to a fuller, happier, more joyful life?

This is an affirmation i really like: "Spirit leads me, guides me and walks beside me."
What is an affirmation that you like, that helps you through the day?